The Rules
- Protect the Hashshit. It must not be damaged, destroyed, vandalized, sharpied, castrated, sucked too deeply into ones anal cavity, or allowed to go dormant for too long. If your kennel breaks it, please fix it (most materials can be found at Lowe's).
- Respect the Hashshit. While it loves all the typical hash debauchery, it shouldn't be allowed to fall into the hands of muggles or otherwise lost.
- The Hashshit can only move forward thru wanker-powered conveyance. It can move via walking, running, stumbling, crawling, swimming skateboarding, bicycling, kayaking, canoeing, paddleboarding, or human powered flight (good luck with that). The wanker can be virgin, no-name, or named.
- The Hashshit can be moved via horse, mule, donkey, goat, dog ,cat, sheep, llama, elephant, cow, duck, or other bestiality worthy creatures, provided said animal is a named hasher.
- No motorized or wind-powered vessel can be utilized for FORWARD progress of the Hashshit.
- If a wanker decides he/she is done moving it for the day because of weather, darkness, apathy, or drunkenness, they can mark the last spot with the appropriate chalk mark of their choosing, turn off the attached SPOT Beacon and move the Hashshit back to a place of safety via motorized whatever. When the weather clears, simply move the Hashshit back to the last chalk mark, turn it back on, and move out via any method described above.
- The kennel currently in possession of the Hashshit determines it's pace, provided it doesn't sit idle for unreasonable periods of time. We at the Hashshit Project reserve the right to retrieve, or send those we designate to retrieve, an unreasonably idle Hashshit. Continuity will retain interest and bring in money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. All we will dictate is which kennel to hand it off to. PLEASE DON'T PICK WHICH KENNEL YOU HAND IT OFF TO, EVEN IF YOU THINK YOUR CHOICE MAKES MORE SENSE. We will listen to your advice, of course, but we have a general direction we must follow and we can't have kennels bypassed that wanted to participate. The designated kennels will coordinate with each other on when and where the handoff will take place. Your route will not be determined by us, only which kennel you hand it off to. Be advised that it is not legal to move on foot or bicycle on any highway in the U.S. Interstate system (i.e I-40).
- The State Flag and all things that kennels have attached, but not the original accoutrements attached prior to launch by us here at the Hashshit Project, shall be removed upon crossing a State line into a new State. The new flag, provided by the Hashshit Project staff, will be attached and the Hashshit will be refreshed and lightened for the new State's wankers. The last kennel in a particular State will mail the flag and attachments to us, using the donation money they raised during their possession. Collected items from each state will be preserved and ultimately displayed at a future Hashing Museum.
- Batteries for the SPOT Beacon and any items needing replacement will come from the funds a kennel has already raised, but if not yet received, the Hashshit Project will provide. I suggest each kennel test the beacon daily and make sure it shows on the SPOT app (free download for all Android and iPhone devices).
- A patch for those that have carried the Hashshit, for any distance, will be available for purchase for $10. You must be on a list submitted by your kennel to be eligible to purchase this unique patch. ALL profit from the patch sales will go to Make-A-Wish. The HASHSHIT REPRESENTATIVE FOR YOUR KENNEL DETERMINES WHAT CONSTITUTES "CARRYING". This may include only carrying it forward towards the next kennel, or just for regular trail at your local event. A Hashshit Supporter patch is also available for those that couldn't help move it for various reasons, but still want to contribute. Special 69 and 100 mile patches are now available for those that have it documented.
- I leave it completely up to the possessing kennel to determine how they will raise money for Make-A-Wish other than the patch purchase described above. Get creative, involve muggles if you deem it useful, but bring in that money for the sick children. NO MONEY WILL BE TAKEN IN BY US AT THE HASHSHIT PROJECT DIRECTLY, it's all for the children. Complete transparency.
- Use this link to donate directly to Make-A-Wish thru the Hashshit Project.
Hashshit Across America is the brainchild of Donkey Fluffer.